Two weeks ago I concluded an incredible week of the Sacred Sensuality Women’s Retreat. My dad was there all week supporting me by taking care of my son Leo while I was leading sessions. I was practicing in the outdoor yoga pavilion in the morning of our last day when Leo ran in and said he needed help. “Grampa fell down.”
My beloved dad Michael suffered a major stroke that has left major damage in the right side of his brain. He had seriously elevated blood pressure and a severe headache. At first, he was unable to eat due to risk of aspiration. He was unable to feel much on his left side and incapable of most basic functions. After a few days in the hospital, he was stable, conscious, and able to speak, eat, and walk short distances. He is now able to move his arm and hand, and is getting stronger already.
After 10 days in the ICU in San Jose, we flew to Miami, where we took him to see a neurologist. He has more tests scheduled and PT prescribed. He continues to restore some function day by day. The body is an incredibly intelligent and resilient organism. I can practically see the neurons growing between his body and new parts of his brain, just as I can see his smile start to curve up again just a little each day. Although this is a difficult time, it’s also a time of big growth for me. I can feel my resilience growing. I can feel my heart expanding. I am witnessing my capacity for holding space and connecting with others on a healing journey growing. I am grateful.
My mom has been incredibly strong, calm, and there for my dad 100%. It will be a long road but my dad is optimistic and determined to recover! My dad is the most constant and solid force in my life, my rock, and along with my mom, my biggest fan. He is very strong in body and mind and well loved by all his friends and family due to his loving, steady, generous personality. Please hold him in your thoughts and prayers and visualize a miraculous recovery! We know that the brain is very capable of rewiring to make new connections to all parts of his body.
As I navigate the stress, fears and challenges of the weeks after my dad’s stroke, I’ve seen how so many of the things I’ve been studying, practicing, and teaching for years have been truly serving me and my family.
My studies of the nervous system have helped me to regulate my own nervous system state, and to recognize when someone else is dysregulated. Helpful terminology that keeps coming up for me is Creative Brain versus Reactive Brain. When we are stressed, scared, or angry, our sympathetic nervous system is in full gear and we move into Reactive Brain. Our capacity for creative and compassionate thinking is diminished. We become less reasonable and more argumentative. Our thoughts get stuck in the spin cycle and fear dominates. Using mindfulness and embodiment practices helps us downshift into the parasympathetic state, also known as Creative Brain. In Creative Brain we are more easily able to tap into the abundant reserves of energy, insight, love, and universal intelligence, and so respond to challenges creatively and resourcefully.
Practice noticing your own and others’ brain state. In yourself, you can also observe physiological signs: in Reactive Brain you might notice tension in your face, shoulders, stomach and hips. You might notice difficulty taking a deep breath, gripping your fingers, tightness in your chest. In Creative Brain, you’ll notice the opposite: relaxed breathing, relaxed muscles, calm thoughts, soft eyes. In relationship, and in communication, you can notice Reactive Brain in yourself and others when arguments escalate, voices raise, reasoning is reduced, and points are repeated. It’s no use reasoning while in Reactive Brain. This is when you need to tap into your inner wisdom just enough to hit the pause button, and calm yourself or the person you’re with, or walk away.
Another helpful bit of terminology that’s been serving me recently is Growth Period. I choose to consider challenging times as opportunities for personal growth. I can strongly feel the Growth Period I am currently in the midst of. Without this recognition, Growth Periods can just feel yucky, put us into a place of self-pity, and have us wanting to complain to everyone, spreading our misery around. A teacher named Jeffrey Allen taught me 5 important actions you can take when in a Growth Period:
Stop blaming. Recognize and turn down the Analyzer in your head.
Stop complaining. It’s no use spreading around your pain and misery. Check your negative energy.
Recognize and communicate that you’re in the midst of a Growth Period. Let your loved ones know by saying something like, “I’m going through something right now. Please give me space and don’t take it personally.”
Ground and connect with creative energy. Use all of your mindfulness and embodiment tools. Ground into the earth, breathe deeply, practice mantra, move your body, connect to your higher self.
Practice gratitude and lighten up. Focus on what is good and what you love. Dance, shake, laugh. Watch something funny. Listen to music to shift your energy. Open to creative solutions. Then, apologize if necessary to anyone you’ve hurt.
Another thing that has been serving me endlessly during this trying time is staying committed to my daily self-care practices, including morning hygiene, cleansing protocols, meditation and yoga, mindful eating, herbs, essential oils, sleep routine, and more, everything I’ll be teaching about in the upcoming Ayurveda Virtual Deep Dive that starts THIS THURSDAY.
Now, more than EVER, I feel the importance and responsibility of sharing Ayurveda with anyone who is ready to learn. It is the ultimate preventative medicine. Aligning yourself with this knowledge of life transforms your sense of self-care. The ultimate goal of Ayurveda is to enliven your inner intelligence by balancing your mind and body through an individualized approach to diet, lifestyle, exercise, herbs and more. I will not turn anyone way due to lack of funds so please reach out if your financial situation is the only thing preventing you from signing up. The world needs this information.